i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sorry about my life...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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