I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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