you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
