Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
