I CAN MOONWALK!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
