question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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