I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
