There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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