You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
