Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
