I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
