I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
