you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
