I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
