Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i believe in u and ur pee
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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