somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
