Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
