Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
