and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
