He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
