went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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