***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
