Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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