Plan B is the new Plan A
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
