Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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