Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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