i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
