I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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