When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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