i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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