I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
