the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
