Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
