his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
