You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
