There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
