We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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