upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
