She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
