How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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