you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
