dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
