i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
