You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
