He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
