If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
