I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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