so that wasnt chicken after all
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
