hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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