im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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